Date: 01/23/2008
To: All Members of Mega Millions Lottery Pool - Game 38 Membership List on Line: http://docs.google.com/Doc?id=ddn3r8c7_101cfcsbd
From: Michael E. Porter
RE: 13th UPDATE
OLDER THAN DIRT
Lightning Bugs / Older 'n Dirt!!
"Hey Dad," one of my kids asked the other day, "What was your favorite fast food when you were growing up?"
"We didn't have fast food when I was growing up," I informed him. "All the food was slow."
"C'mon, seriously. Where did you eat?"
"It was a place called 'at home,'" I explained. "Grandma cooked every day and when Grandpa got home from work, we sat down together at the dining room table, and if I didn't like what she put on my plate I was allowed to sit there until I did like it."
By this time, the kid was laughing so hard I was afraid he was going to suffer serious internal damage, so I didn't tell him the part about how I had to have permission to leave the table. But here are some other things I would have told him about my childhood if I figured his system could have handled it:
Some parents NEVER owned their own house, wore
My parents never drove me to soccer practice. This was mostly because we never had heard of soccer. I had a bicycle that weighed probably 50 pounds, and only had one speed, (slow). We didn't have a television in our house until I was 11, but my grandparents had one before that. It was, of course, black and white, but they bought a piece of colored plastic to cover the screen. The top third was blue, like the sky, and the bottom third was green, like grass. The middle third was red. It was perfect for programs that had scenes of fire trucks riding across someone's lawn on a sunny day Some people had a lens taped to the front of the TV to make the picture look larger.
I was 13 before I tasted my first pizza, it was called "pizza pie." When I bit into it, I burned the roof of my mouth and the cheese slid off, swung down, plastered itself against my chin and burned that, too. It's still the best pizza I ever had.
We didn't have a car until I was 15. Before that, the only car in our family was my grandfather's Ford. He called it a "machine."
I never had a telephone in my room. The only phone in the house was in the living room and it was on a party line. Before you could dial, you had to listen and make sure some people you didn't know weren't already using the line.
Pizzas were not delivered to our home. But milk was.
All newspapers were delivered by boys and all boys delivered newspapers. I delivered a newspaper, six days a week. It cost 7 cents a paper, of which I got to keep 2 cents. I had to get up at 4 AM every morning. On Saturday, I had to collect the 42 cents from my customers. My favorite customers were the ones who gave me 50 cents and told me to keep the change. My least favorite customers were the ones who seemed to never be home on collection day.
Movie stars kissed with their mouths shut. At least, they did in the movies. Touching someone else's tongue with yours was called French kissing and they didn't do that in movies. I don't know what they did in French movies. French movies were dirty and we weren't allowed to see them.
If you grew up in a generation before there was fast food, you may want to share some of these memories with your children or grandchildren. Just don't blame me if they bust a gut laughing.
Growing up isn't what it used to be, is it?
MEMORIES from a friend:
My Dad is cleaning out my grandmother's house (she died in December) and he brought me an old Royal Crown Cola bottle. In the bottle top was a stopper with a bunch of holes in it. I knew immediately what it was, but my daughter had no idea. She thought they had tried to make it a salt shaker or something. I knew it as the bottle that sat on the end of the ironing board to "sprinkle" clothes with because we didn't have steam irons. Man, I am old.
How many do you remember?
Head lights dimmer switches on the floor.
Ignition switches on the dashboard.
Heaters mounted on the inside of the fire wall.
Real ice boxes.
Pant leg clips for bicycles without chain guards.
Soldering irons you heat on a gas burner.
Using hand signals for cars without turn signals.
Older Than Dirt Quiz:
Count all the ones that you remember not the ones you were told about . Ratings at the bottom.
1. Blackjack chewing gum
2. Wax Coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water
3. Candy cigarettes
4. Soda pop machines that dispensed glass bottles
5. Coffee shops or diners with tableside juke boxes
6 . Home milk delivery in glass bottles with cardboard stoppers
7. Party lines
8. Newsreels before the movie
9. P.F. Flyers
10. Butch wax
11. Telephone numbers with a word prefix (OLive-6933)
12. Peashooters
13. Howdy Doody
14. 45 RPM records
15. S & H green stamps
16 Hi-fi's
17. Metal ice trays with lever
18. Mimeograph paper
19 Blue flashbulb
20. Packards
21. Roller skate keys
22.
23. Drive-ins
24. Studebakers
25. Wash tub wringers
If you remembered 0-5 = You're still young
If you remembered 6-10 = You are getting older
If you remembered 11-15 = Don't tell your age,
If you remembered 16-25 = You're older than dirt!
I might be older than dirt but those memories are the best part of my life.
We still have won nothing on our Ohio Ticket, and I’m certain that we would have won nothing if I had purchased a ticket in
You still have $3.00 in your bank, and I’m sending that tomorrow to Juanita to spend for you. She can either buy us one more ticket for the last three drawings, or extend this game once again – Her Choice.
The Good News is that No One won the Jack Pot and it’s climbing and climbing.
Your
| | | Dates Valid |
| 06 14 30 32 37 | 04 | 01/15/2008 – 02/14/2008 |
What you have won so far:
| Amount Won | Date Won | Running Total |
| $6.00 | | $6.00 |
| $8.00 | | $14.00 |
| $21.00 | | $35.00 |
| $6.00 | | $41.00 |
| -$40.00 | | $1.00 |
| $12.00 | | $13.00 |
| $8.00 | | $21.00 |
| -$20.00 | | $1.00 |
| $12.00 | | $13.00 |
| -$10.00 | | $3.00 |
| - $3.00 | 01/31/2008 | $0.00 |
Mac Almond’s spreadsheet: http://tinyurl.com/22rq97
Our next drawing is on Friday, February 1st, 2008. The Jack Pot is worth $87 Million. The Cash Option is $45,100,000.00. We had 48 shares issued in this game. This is what you could win before any attorney fee’s, taxes or tithes:
| Shares Purchased | What you would Net |
| .5 | $ 564,583.33 |
| 1 | $ 1,129,166.67 |
| 2 | $ 2,258,333.33 |
| 3.5 | $ 3,952,083.33 |
Turn on the speakers and watch this crazy bird dance! He loves a Backstreet Boys' song and really gets into it: http://birdloversonly.blogspot.com/2007/09/may-i-have-this-dance.html
Game Announcements
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The Talking Clock
A Finlander was proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of his friends late one night.
He led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong and a mallet.
'What's that big brass gong for?' one of the guests asked.
'It's not a gong. It's a talking clock,' the Finlander replied.
'A talking clock? asked one astonished friend.
'Yup,' replied the Finlander.
'How's it work?' the friend asked.
'Watch,' the Finlander replied. He picked up the mallet, gave the gong an ear-shattering smash and stepped back.
The three stood looking at one another for a moment.......
Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed, ‘You ass-hole! It's three-fifteen in the morning!'
'See what did I tell you, it talks' says the Finlander.
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