Date:
To: All Members of Mega Millions Lottery Pool - Game 38 Membership List on Line: http://docs.google.com/Doc?id=ddn3r8c7_101cfcsbd
From: Michael E. Porter
RE: 11th UPDATE
Quote of the Day
"Life begets life. Energy creates energy. It is by spending oneself that one becomes rich." – Sarah Bernhardt
Well, you have one draw on your Ohio Ticket and won nothing. You still have $3.00 in your bank, and I will be sending that to Juanita to buy you another ticket either during this game, or maybe extending your game again.
Your
| | | Dates Valid |
| 06 14 30 32 37 | 04 | |
What you have won so far:
| Amount Won | Date Won | Running Total |
| $6.00 | | $6.00 |
| $8.00 | | $14.00 |
| $21.00 | | $35.00 |
| $6.00 | | $41.00 |
| -$40.00 | | $1.00 |
| $12.00 | | $13.00 |
| $8.00 | | $21.00 |
| -$20.00 | | $1.00 |
| $12.00 | | $13.00 |
| -$10.00 | | $3.00 |
Mac Almond’s spreadsheet: http://tinyurl.com/22rq97
Our next drawing is on
| Shares Purchased | What you would Net |
| .5 | $ 270,833.33 |
| 1 | $541,666.66 |
| 2 | $1,083,333.32 |
| 3.5 | $1,895,833.31 |
I just access our spreadsheet, and either Mac is still updating it, or it’s wrong. The Cash Option is showing more than the Jack Pot. I know that Mac updates our spreadsheets very early in the morning, so I know it’s easy to make a mistake.
Speaking of mistakes, Charley doesn’t like our computer that we have and wanted to order a new one. So he order one from Dell, and it arrived today.
It arrived today. Now the new computer has Windows Vista and I have heard nothing good about it, so I’m not sure why Charley opted for this system.
Now I knew this was coming, so all this weekend, I uploaded my entire membership list on to the web. So when we lost this hard disc, it will not the end of the world for me.
Now I mention this to you, because I also feel that every time we get a new computer, we go down. I don’t think all the software we have (it’s old) is going to work with the new software. (I hope that I am wrong.)
So if you don’t hear from me, you know what’s going on.
Now I plan on doing updates today on everything that has tickets in last night’s games. Just so, if I don’t have access to a computer, I can be current.
Game Announcements
1.
Membership List: http://docs.google.com/Doc?id=ddn3r8c7_113crdxngcx
2.
Membership List: http://docs.google.com/Doc?id=ddn3r8c7_117hdxwh6gw
3. Lotto
Membership List: http://docs.google.com/Doc?id=ddn3r8c7_119cgj5v5gz
4. Mega Millions Lottery Pool – Game 40 – Cost is $10.00 per share. This game starts on
Membership List: http://docs.google.com/Doc?id=ddn3r8c7_111g93hsnf3
You Just Can't Fix Stupid!!
ONE Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply. "So I can't order half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?" "That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets
TWO I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those "dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the "divider", looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know how much this is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind; I don't think I'll buy that today." She said "OK," and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened.
THREE A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."
FOUR I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. “Do you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?"
"Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked. "No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk."
FIVE Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?"
"Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.
SIX I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister." I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the "cruise control" and then went in the back to make a sandwich.
SEVEN My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"
EIGHT Police in
NINE A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and it should be fine. The mother says, I just gave him some ant killer.....
Dispatcher: Rush him in to emergency room!
Life is tough. It's tougher if you're stupid
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