Date:
To: Kenneth E Stutzman, Jr. Charles W. Rutherford, Juanita L. Brown, Mac Almond, Johnnie M. Dodson, and Chauncey Stumpter
Membership List: http://docs.google.com/Doc?id=ddn3r8c7_69c35dhf
From: Michael Porter
RE: 30th Newsletter
Inertia is a powerful force. So is compulsive behavior.
"Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results," writer Earnie Larsen has said for years. I think it goes one step further. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over because we can't find the button that says, "Stop."
"My mom was dying," a woman said. "I went to live with her, take care of her. We had our issues, like most mothers and daughters. But I love my mom, and this was the end of her life.
"She had a studio apartment. We both lived in that one room. I had to get out of there once in a while. Whenever I returned from being out, I knew what to expect. My mom would slam me with sarcastic remarks. She'd say things like, "It's nice to know that I'm not as important to you as your friends."
"My mom had used sarcasm to cover her emotions all my life. I had tried to explain this to her, and how I felt when she was sarcastic with me. I had told her it was okay for her to be vulnerable with me and just say how she really feels. She either didn't get it, or she didn't want to change.
"I had to keep taking breaks. I couldn't be there 24 hours a day. But I'd cringe when I came home, dreading her caustic remarks. One night, I tiptoed in. I was praying to God that Mom would be asleep. She wasn't She was lying there waiting for me to walk through the door.
"I took off my coat. Asked her how she was doing. Said I had a nice night.
"'I'm glad you had a good time,' Mom said. 'But I feel really sad and scared when I'm alone. And I feel better now that you're here.'
"I couldn't believe what I heard. Don't tell me it's too late to do things differently. My mom made a choice and took the action to change in the last week of her life."
Putting values into action in our lives takes courage and hard work. Sometimes the little steps we take mean a lot.
Change the things we can.
You are reading from the book:
52 Weeks of Conscious Contact by Melody Beattie
pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp
Here is Mac’s spreadsheet: http://tinyurl.com/253gxw
Well, I told you wrong in my last newsletter, I thought we had four lines in last Saturday’s drawing. I know that Juanita send out an e-mail advising everyone that our other three lines were for Wendesday.
Well, it made no difference if we had had 4 or 400 lines, because:
$20 Million Powerball Jackpot Won!
One lucky ticket in
This Jack Pot can’t get above $25 Million, can it?
Your next drawing is on
We now have one ticket in this game, and the odds of our winnings are 1 in 146,107,962.00. Now that is NOT how I figure it, I always think it’s 50/50. Either we win or we don’t win. There are only two options.
There are 10 shares issued in this game, here is the payout, not including any attorney fees, taxes or tithes:
| Shares Purchased | Amount you could win |
| .5 | $355,000.00 |
| 1 | $710,000.00 |
| 2 | $1,420,000.00 |
| 3 | $2,130,000.00 |
Your one number for the remainder of this game is:
| Power Ball Number | Power Ball | Dates Valid | Notes |
| 11 21 24 38 41 | 08 | 10/06 – | |
Our next drawing is Saturday, and I’m still holding on to my dream: We won nothing until
Game Announcements
1. Lotto
2. Mega Millions Lottery Pool – Game 38 – Cost is $10.00 per share. This game plays for 10 drawings. Game starts on
3.
The Worst Bad First Date
If you didn't see this on the Tonight show, I hope you're sitting down when you read it. This is probably the funniest date story ever, first date or not!!!
We have all had bad dates but this takes the cake.
Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had.
The winner described her worst first date experience. There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!
She said it was midwinter...Snowing and quite cold...and the guy had taken her skiing in the mountains outside
It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and truly had never met before.
The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed home late that afternoon.
They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte.
They were about an hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the middle of nowhere!
Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for awhile.
Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point where she told him that he had better stop and let her go beside the road, or it would be the front seat of his car.
They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and started.
In the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself.
Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation.
Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation.
As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the car's fender.
Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal.
It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem due to the extreme cold.
Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment, she answered her date's concerns about "what is taking so long" with a reply that indeed, she was "freezing her butt off" and in need of some assistance!
He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing.
She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma.
Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a real problem. Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal!
Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free.
So, as she looked the other way, her first-time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender.
As the audience screamed in laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize hands down.
Or perhaps that should be "pants down." And you thought your first date was embarrassing.
Jay Leno's comment: "This gives a whole new meaning to being pissed off."
Oh and how did the first date turn out? He became her husband and was sitting next to her on the Leno show.
No comments:
Post a Comment