Lotto
Date:
To: Johnnie M. Dodson, Juanita L. Brown, Sheilia J. Mc Griff, Libra/Goat (Anonymous), Charles W. Rutherord, Jared N. Moore, ,Mac Almond, Anthony W. Bolton, Deanne P. Collins, Aaron Montgomery, Gerald R. Snow, Carole Scott, and Ann F. Devoe http://docs.google.com/Doc?id=ddn3r8c7_75dn6xvx
From: Michael E. Porter
RE: 5TH NEWSLETTER
THE SNEEZE
They walked in tandem, each of the ninety-two students filing into the already crowded auditorium. With rich maroon gowns flowing and the traditional caps, they looked almost as grown up as they felt. Dads swallowed hard behind broad smiles, and Moms freely brushed away tears.
This class would not pray during the commencements----not by choice, but because of a recent court ruling prohibiting it. The principal and several students were careful to stay within the guidelines allowed by the ruling. They gave inspirational and challenging speeches, but no one mentioned divine guidance and no one asked for blessings on the graduates or their families.
The speeches were nice, but they were routine.....until the final speech received a standing ovation. A solitary student walked proudly to the microphone. He stood still and silent for just a moment, and then, it happened. All 92 students, every single one of them, suddenly SNEEZED!!!!
The student on stage simply looked at the audience and said, “GOD BLESS YOU, each and every one of you!" And he walked off stage...
The audience exploded into applause. The graduating class found a unique way to invoke God's blessing on their future with or without the court's approval.
Isn't this a wonderful story? Pass it on to all your friends.........and GOD BLESS YOU!!!!
In God We Trust, United We Stand.
This is a true story; happened at the
Mac’s spreadsheet for this game: http://tinyurl.com/28pg4f
Again, we had no wins in Wednesday night’s drawing. But, we still have 6 more drawings.
Lotto
| Shares Purchased | Amount you could win |
| .5 | $360,714.29 |
| 1 | $721,428.57 |
| 1.5 | $1,082,142.86 |
Lotto
A-HA!! We finally feel like computer geniuses!!
This ought to make you feel better about your computer skills! I have friends who are worse than this.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one...
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer: No, wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry....
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and...
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it..
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7*11.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Techsupport: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work...
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Tech support: Your password is the small letter "a" as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Customer: can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Tech support: What anti*virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti*virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
And last but not least...
Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!
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